FLASH FICTION:-- HORROR, SCI-FI, HUMOUR, CRIME, SLICE OF LIFE, ETC.

Friday 10 February 2012

More than dreams (Part 1)

Hi everyone, last week I posted a very short flash entitled “In The Dome” I have since decided to expand on the idea and have written a 3 part mini-series. I know this theme has been covered many times in books and films, but I hope you will enjoy my own version of the story. Thank you for reading.
Steve Green.


More than dreams (Part 1)

“Numbers One seven four two five to Three eight six four nine, please rise and collect your food, you have one hour to shift start... numbers One seven four...”

The soft female tones of the wakevoice, along with the gentle, but insistent Ping-Ping of the alarm pulled me away from the dream.

I had been having a lot of dreams lately. Strange dreams. Dreams that I dare not mention to anyone else. Dreams about running for hours without meeting glass. Dreams of a light the brightness of which I have never seen, and of a darkness never known. The only darkness I have known in my life lies behind my eyelids.

I zipped myself into my whitesuit and walked out of the dorm. Because the dream had held me to sleep a little longer than was prudent I found myself near the end of the food queue, this wasn't a problem, but could possibly develop into one if it happened too often... and became noticeable.

Looking far down the line I could see 24868, easily recognisable amongst the long line of whitesuits by his characteristic head tilt. There would be no whispered words between us in the food queue today, he would have eaten and be on his way to start his twelvehour by the time I reached the head of the queue. I would have to eat fast to be at my station before belltime, tardiness was noted, and frequent tardiness could spark investigation.

Investigation. The word itself was a mystery. I only know that people who have been “Investigated” tend to not sleep in their beds for a while, then when they return seem changed somehow, subtly changed, brighter of eye, wider of smile, more positive of speech, more... watchful of others.

By the time I reached my designated table space with my food the immense dining area was almost empty, just a smattering of whitesuits dotted here and there, and a couple of bluesuits strolling up and down the aisles between the rows of tables.

I ate as fast as I could without appearing to hurry, head down, spooning the protein mix rapidly from dish to mouth, I was hungry, and was already feeling the need for the next meal which would come when my twelvehour was done.

“Only seven minutes to belltime, brother.”

The voice startled me, I hadn't heard the bluesuit approaching, his soft shoes silent on the composite floor.

I raised my head and looked up into his smiling face, returning the smile with one of my own. Everyone smiled here, all the time, we were all happy and content and had every reason to smile.

“Yes, brother.” I replied pleasantly. “I fear I found myself one of the last in line for food, but I shall be at my station before belltime. Work makes me happy.”

As one, everyone remaining in the dining area laid down their spoons and took up the chant.

“We work for happiness, our work makes us happy, our work makes our brothers and sisters happy, our brothers' and sisters' work makes us happy, we are happy in our work. Amen.”

The bluesuit smiled even wider. “Work is good, brother. Life is good.” He said, then strolled away down the aisle in his silent shoes.

* * * * * *

I arrived at my station with two minutes to spare, and took my place behind my opposite twelvehour worker.

Belltime. As the soft chimes echoed down the production line the workers at the conveyor took a pace to their right, then a pace backwards bringing them side by side with their relief man.

Those of us just beginning our twelvehour stepped forward a pace to the line and carried on with the work, the change-over so smooth that there was no need to even slow the conveyor

The whitesuits ending their twelvehour walked off quietly in the direction of the food servers, smiling at each other, talking in hushed tones.

My twelvehour seemed to pass unusually slowly. I added a single component to each unit as it trundled past on the conveyor, one every twenty six seconds, and all the while I was smiling.

My face hurt. Like the dreams this was also a new and strange addition to my life. My face hurt from smiling all the time, I dare not mention this to anyone else either.

* * * * * *

My twelvehour over, and my food eaten, I sought out 24868 in the recreation area, I found him sitting at a far table, some distance from any of the other whitesuits. I walked over and took the seat on the opposite side of the table.

“You look tired my brother, are you not sleeping well?” He asked.

“I have strange dreams, they disturb my peace. I dream of what it might be like on the outside.” I had spoken without thinking, now I was not the only one who knew of the dreams.

“No-one knows,” said 24868, “no-one has ever gone outside. The law says that anyone leaving the dome can never return, so no-one leaves. There are stories, legends really, that tell of dangers and diseases, of fearsome creatures, of things called radiation and mutation, and of unhappiness. Are you thinking of leaving? Are you not happy in your work?

“Yes my brother, I am happy in my work.” I smiled across the table at him, and hoped that my eyes didn't tell a different story than my mouth.

For the next couple of hours we chatted about how the production figures were growing daily, and other happywork subjects until it was time to sleep.

I laid my head on the pillow, the sweet tones of the sleepchime soothed my mind.

I closed my eyes and drifted away.

And the dreams came.

Continued in:- More than dreams (Part 2)



©2012 Stephen. J. Green.

32 comments:

  1. Especially if you're writing primarily for exercise or private entertainment like in a blog circle, I don't see the guilt in writing something that's been explored before. I dug the highly systematic life you subjected these folks to. Don't want to live it, but see the promise of it in prose. Happy writing, Stephen!

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    1. Thank you John. I wrote this 3 parter last weekend, and really enjoyed getting my head inside it. At just under 3k words it is probably the longest thing I have written since starting my blog. Parts 2 and 3 will posted next week and the week after.

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  2. What John said.

    Oh and this is very bleak, but have you ever watched Thomas the Tank Engine? "Must be really useful." All those painted faces. The Fat Controller. Not so different.

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    1. Hi Peter, and thanks. Thomas the Tank Engine, eh? Haha, Maybe watching a few episodes of that will make the protag's smile hurt a little less.

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    2. I read an exploration of teletubbies as a dystopia once... with the speakers that tell them what to do and the ever-present smiling child face watching over them. (it was deeper than that and well thought through, but you get the gist...)

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    3. I haven't seen this John, but I would imagine that many things would have sinister undercurrents when put under deeper analysis.

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  3. Excellent! I like the 1984/THX1138 vibe to your piece...can't wait for part 3:)

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    1. Thank you Anne. Both of those are brilliant movies, I think THX probably had the more influence of the two.

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  4. I liked it! And it doesn't matter if this theme has been done more than once. Personally, I think the guy used to love outside once upon a time and sent to this people in punishment.

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    1. Thanks Sonia. Like many generations before him he has lived his whole life inside the dome, but the significance of the dreams....?

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  5. I loved this, you've got off to a great start. I like the world you paint, almost a clockwork world where everything runs to time and no one steps out of line. I wonder if there is more to his dreams, that simple dreams? I look forward to the next episode. ^_^

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    1. Helen, thank you, and yes, there is definitely more to his dreams than simple dreams.

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  6. I went back to read last week's first, and I love this. It's a bit Modern Times, a bit Logan's Run, a bit Brave New World, a bit Equilibrium...and yet somehow more than all of them. Keep it up.

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    1. Thank you Icy, in a way I'm glad that I wasn't 100% happy with the brevity of last week's otherwise this would never have been written. I have probably drawn influence from many different books and films for this, and I'm hoping that like yourself other readers will also see originality in it too, especially as the rest of the story unfolds.

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  7. I was pulled into this thoroughly. The bleakness through structure you've attained here held me to the end. Looking forward to what comes next!

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    1. Thanks Aaron, I hope you enjoy the next two episodes too.

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  8. Those little chimes just gave me a flashback to all the years I spent in schools -- we all would stop or go at the sound of a bell. Thankfully, the rest of the experience was not quite as bleak as the society in your piece. ;-)

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    1. Hi Tim, a factory that I used to work in was the same, we had buzzers to start and end the work day, and the breaks too, and we all wore the same uniform as well. As you say "Not quite as bleak" but heading in the same direction. :-)

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  9. This may be well-trodden territory, Steve, but you retread it well. ;) Seriously, looking forward to the rest. =)

    I notice you mention the film of Nineteen Eighty-Four, but have you read the book? I don't know how much it comes across in the film (I haven't seen it), but the book concentrates quite heavily on the manipulation of language and how this affects the way people interpret their world.

    It's a subject that interests me, and I like the way you use neologisms and concatenated words in the story. I particularly like the word happywork. I like the way you've twisted happiness from the desirable thing it is today into a tool of the oppressors.

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    1. Thanks John. I have read the book, but many years before the film even came out, and I can't honestly remember too much about the use of language in it.

      The word joining works very well at giving the meaning but with subtle differences, doesn't it? I did wonder if some readers may have thought they were typos.

      I think maybe some people will have their own idea of what is to come in the following two episodes, and I am looking forward to seeing if I can pleasantly surprise some of them. :-)

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  10. This was well-done — and there's no shame in walking a path that others have taken, especially if you can put your own stamp on it somehow. I think any dystopian story is going to necessarily include similar elements, and people keep writing & reading them. I'm looking forward to the next two segments.

    To me, the regimentation brought to mind "Repent, Harlequin!" said the Ticktock Man, but your story is completely different in other respects.

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    1. Thanks Larry, it is rather difficult to be totally original, as just about every concept has been covered so many times, but I do feel as though I have added a little of my own imagination to this story.

      I like your parallel to the Ticktock man too, thank heavens we don't have to live that kind of life.

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  11. I, too, enjoyed this and look forward to seeing where you take it, Steve.

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    1. Thanks Chuck, I hope you enjoy where it leads you too. :-)

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  12. I like how you take the subject and own it. This rendition captures a great sense of creepiness and it'll be interesting to see where you go with it.

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    1. Thanks Aidan. I'm really looking forward to posting Part 2 next week, I have enjoyed the writing of this story immensely. :-)

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  13. What a bleak life, I wonder if the food is drugged so it will keep them happy and smiling all the time. From the dreams I see the MC is starting to see there's maybe more to life than the dome, and it seems his friend might think so too. I look forward to finding out what happens next.

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    1. Hi Craig, in my imagination there were no drugs in the food, but you may be right about the dreams, I hope you enjoy the following episodes. :-)

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  14. I missed last week's post, but I really enjoyed this. The tone gave me the creeps and I can't wait for the next post.

    Also, I would LOVE it if you put a "subscribe by email" option on your blog. :)

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    1. Thank you Danielle, I hope you enjoy the next two parts too. :-)

      I'm not sure how to put a "Subscribe by email" option on here, but I'm working on it. :-)

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  15. Steve,

    This is a trope that has been done many, many times. Unfortunately, it has also usually been done by hacks who ruin it as a jumping off point for the rest of us. I'm glad you're tackling it and am enjoying it thus far. I had started working on a serial with a similar jumping off point and you have, if nothing else, inspired me to revisit it.

    Thank you!

    All the best,
    Paul

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    1. Hi Paul, and thank you for the confidence boost. Part 2 will be posted soon and I'm hoping that it manages to keep the readers' interest as it may not follow the direction many people probably expect it to.

      I think you should put your own stamp on this too, although many people have done so in the past there is always your own details and personal style to work into the story. :-)

      Best wishes
      Steve.

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